i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
