Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
