Nicole vs. Life
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
bring money and cleavage
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
