My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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