I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
