my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
