She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize