ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
