she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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