He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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