i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize