theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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