Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize