I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
