when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
