I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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