I love black thongs
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
