on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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