Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
