You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
