Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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