i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
