cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
