I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
