i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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