Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
