dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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