i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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