Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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