Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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