I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
dude. I can hear the air.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
