he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
