am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
