Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
whose parrot is this?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
