Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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