Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
