I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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