She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize