trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
