Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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