Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.

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(520): View more from Arizona

She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.

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(206): View more from Washington

Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy

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(917): View more from New York City

Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!

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(303): View more from Colorado

If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery

(1-303): View more from Colorado

coward.

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