he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do herpes really smell.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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