How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize