I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
