Dual....:-)
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
