Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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