i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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