Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
