The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize