I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
