is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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