I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
