I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
