As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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