Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
