I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
