sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
