I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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