You made me cry and you don't even care
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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