Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
