I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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